Well, this can be very tricky! You like a guy, and you want to tell him you like him but how do you do it? What if his feelings are not the same as yours? Will you still have a friendship at the end of it? So many issues surrounding being honest about your true feelings puts many people off confessing how they really feel. But, in the end it is worth taking the risk because this guy could be the love of your life! And you should not hang around too long either, as they might get snapped up by someone else.
You can tell a guy you like him nonverbally by flirting, smiling, asking him lots of questions and generally paying an interest in his life. However, all these subliminal messages may get lost on the guy and he might still be none the wiser that you like him. The only way you can be sure he knows is if you tell him yourself. You can do this face to face, over the phone, write it in a text or a note, or if you are feeling particularly brave you could kiss him!
How can we be sure we really like this guy?
Sometimes you just know, and you do not have to question it. I remember the first time I ever saw my first love; we were in the college library and I was blown away! He turned to me and smiled, and although there was only a bookcase behind me, I was convinced he was not smiling at me! He was out of the world; it was love at first sight. So, in times like this you just know and there is no question about it.
Yet, other times you might not be so sure how you feel. I have also been in this situation; I was best friends with a guy and when I first met him I thought he was good looking but we became friends and since he never made a move I ended up dating someone else. Long story short, we were always in limbo; I loved his friendship, and I was not exactly sure how he felt or how I felt but there was definitely some kind of romantic chemistry. In this kind of circumstance, these are the questions that you need to ask yourself:
- Do you always get dressed up to see them?
- Do you talk and text a lot?
- Do you get excited to see them?
- Do you get butterflies when you are around them?
- Do you want to spend a lot of time with them?
- Are you physically attracted to them?
If the answer to these questions is yes, then sounds like you really do like this guy!
Rejection is part of dating, and men and women handle it differently.
Women are more emotional than men and because of this we handle rejection very differently. Women may feel like the rejection is warranted and tend to take it personally and consequently do not have any desire to pursue the relationship. Men, on the other hand, see this as a challenge and will quite often keep persevering to change your mind. When I was in my early 20’s, I worked in a bar and the same guy would ask me out for literally years. Eventually his perseverance paid off and I agreed to go on a date! I decided he had worked so hard and I may as well as I had nothing to lose.
Rejection is part of dating and you shouldn’t take it personally. We aren’t all everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok because there’s plenty of people out there so go and find someone who is a perfect match. If someone doesn’t like you and they tell you straight up, instead of getting offended think ‘that’s great, he hasn’t wasted my time and I haven’t become too emotionally invested’. Each time someone tells you that you aren’t right for them you are one step closer to finding someone who is. See it as a positive rather than a negative.
Manage your own expectations
Make sure that before you tell him how you feel, you have prepared for the fact that he might not feel the same and make sure that you are ok with this. It is best to have the mindset that even if he does not feel the same, you’ve been honest about how you really feel. Afterall, nothing will ever happen unless one of you tells the other how you feel.
You might already be friends with him, and you might have a good idea of how he will respond. No one wants to be on the other end of rejection, so make sure that you are either think he likes you back, or you’re indifferent and you will just be relieved he knows how you really feel.
Do not play games
I do not think it is necessary to start playing games to make him jealous- he either likes you for who you are, or he doesn’t. Don’t try to fool him into it, because if you have to play games to get him to like you then is he really the type of guy you want to be getting into a relationship with? You want to get with a guy who knows his own mind, who knows who he is and knows what he wants. That type of guy who would not be fooled by game playing and manipulation. So be honest, be yourself and own it! You got this girl!!
Have the courage and go for it
Everyone loves to be paid compliments, and what better compliment is there then someone fancying you and wanting to date you? It is great to be told that someone likes you and you are special to someone.
Do not sit on this for too long, because the longer you leave it the more chance someone else will swoop in and start dating your man! You will never end up getting together if you don’t tell him how you feel. That is what happened to me (and the best friend I had who I talked about above), we both ended up dating other people and by the time he did confess I cared about him so much that I didn’t want to start dating him in case it didn’t work out!
Do not back track if you don’t get the response you want
If you do not get the answer you want don’t start back tracking and saying something like ‘I was only joking!’ Own your feelings. Be proud that you have the confidence and courage to express your feelings. You will look foolish if you try and make out it was a joke afterwards.
You only live once, and whilst you are here you should make the most of it and if you like someone tell him. Worst case scenario he doesn’t feel the same, well at least you gave it a shot. You don’t ask, you don’t get! You might look like a fool or even lose a friend; but the upside is you may start a beautiful relationship with someone you adore.
The benefits of being honest about how you truly feel
- Gain confidence
I have no doubt the first time you tell a guy you like him it will feel uneasy because you will probably be nervous about his response. But the more you do it, the more confident you will become. When you believe in yourself and know that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, then nothing can stop you. Confidence is so attractive too. It will also make you feel more self-assured and generally happier.
- Learn what not to do, thus improving your game
I always remember a guy I met once telling me that I would never find a husband whilst I still smoked! And how true it was! I had always been quite sporty and into healthy foods and generally treating my body well, and this was the exact type of guy that I go for; sporty and athletic. Even though I did not smoke much at all (on average a few a day) it was still a complete contradiction to my lifestyle. I quit smoking June 2015, and four months later I met my husband! If I had smoked, we would never have even gone on a first date because he absolutely hates it with a passion.
- Better awareness
The more you put your true feelings out there the better you will be at reading the signs that the feeling is mutual, or if a guy is just being friendly and polite. Experience will enable you to become a better judge of the situation.
- You are more likely to find ‘The one’
The more you date means the more possible candidates you find, which gives you more opportunity to tell the ones that you are interested in that you like them. It increases your chances finding the right guy for you. You will not win the lottery if you do not buy a ticket!
21 Ways you can show you are interested
- Be playful, laugh and smile
You like this guy, and you want him to like you too so be happy and smile around him. Make sure you have fun together, be playful and laugh. You want him to leave thinking that was so much fun! Life can be stressful so its good to have someone to have light-hearted enjoyment with.
- Listen to him
There is nothing worse than someone who is continually interrupting you when you are trying to talk. If you feel like someone is really listening to what you have to say it makes you feel valued and understood. I went on a date where the guy hardly ever gave me the opportunity to speak and it was so frustrating, we did not go out again!
- Ask him questions
Asking questions shows that you are paying attention to what he has to say, and it will make him feel validated. It is also a great way to show him that you are interested in him.
- Let him see you in a new light
If you are friends already and he only sees you with your hair tied up in your gym gear, then change things up. Show him a different side to you by getting dolled up and be flirty, he will then think ‘wow, who is this sexy confident girl?’ and he will see you in a new light.
- Get up close
Find an excuse to whisper something in his ear or to show him something, for example on your phone, so you must be up close with each other.
- Make physical contact
Stroking his arm or placing your arm around him whilst you are showing him something where you need to be up close will be a clear indicator that you like him.
- Eye contact
So many unspoken words can be said through eye contact, and most people can tell if someone likes them by the way you look at them. I remember my first date with my husband. I thought he was gorgeous, and I could not take my eyes off him, there could have been no one else in the room.
- Dance with him
Dancing enables you to break down personal space barriers and it allows you to touch each other in a legitimate way. It is also a good opportunity to see if this guy has any rhythm on the dancefloor, as it might be a good indication of how he might perform between the sheets! Dancing together can be romantic and sexy, so make the most of it and show him your best moves.
- Open up
Showing your vulnerability and opening up to a guy about something that has happened in your past, or about your hopes and dreams for the future will make him feel grateful that you have shared it with him. In turn he may reciprocate by sharing something personal with you. This is a clear sign that you like him otherwise you would not want to express yourself so intimately and it will be a good way for you to bond.
- Pay him a compliment
You obviously like this guy, and I am sure there are plenty of reasons why, so paying him a genuine compliment should not be difficult. Be confident and have conviction in what you are saying. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves so inevitably it will be gratefully received.
There are several different types of flirting; you can ask open questions, use cheesy chat up lines and you can be direct and tell someone you like them. Women tend to like the open questions but the problem with these is that guys often miss the ques, as they might be too subtle. Guys generally prefer the direct approach, so girls do not be shy!
- Take a photo together
Taking a photo together shows that you want to keep the memory of the fun you are having together, and it is a good excuse to get close to each other.
- Ask him for some help
Find out what his job is and ask him for some help or advice. For example, he could be a mortgage broker so ask him about the best deal for you, or if he is a landscape gardener you could ask him to come and trim your bush! You could offer to cook him dinner as a thank you.
- Pay interest in his hobbies
Ask him what he is interested in and find out what you have in common. Once you realise what it is, you could start doing it together. For example, if you both enjoy cooking you could tease him that you are better in the kitchen and you could have a cook-off!
- Ask him to teach you something
If one of his interests is something you’ve never tried before but you have always fancied, for example rock climbing, you could ask him if you could go together and he could show you the ropes!
- Ask to spend some time together
Men love an assertive woman, after all it is 2020! Try to make it clear that you are not asking to hang out as friends so arrange something to do in the evening like dinner, drinks, or a movie.
- Invite him out with your friends
If you are too shy to ask him out, then you could always ask him if he wants to hang out with you and your friends. You also have the bonus of seeing if your friends think he likes you and you can also find out if they approve of him.
- Make a sweet gesture of thoughtfulness
You could bake the guy some cakes or buy him a book that you think he will like. Doing something thoughtful that shows he is on your mind is a lovely idea, but personally I would only do it if I were quite sure that my feelings were reciprocated.
- Ask a mutual friend to test the water
This one is obviously only going to work if you have friends in common. If you do ask someone to test the waters that could do it by saying something like ‘I think you and Stacey would make a good couple you know, have you ever considered it?’ He might say that he thought you were completely out of his league.
- Keep out of the friendzone
Yes, you want to get close to him but beware of becoming friends because then he may be unable to see you in a romantic light and get used to you just being his mate.
- Tell him
You can tell a guy outright that you like him but if you have used some of the above ideas on how to show him then you should not even need to. By judging how he has reacted towards you when you have shown him how you feel you should have a good idea of how he feels too. However, some guys need it spelling out for them and they do not pick up on subliminal messages.
4 Ways How to tell a guy you like him
- Give it to him straight
Have the courage and conviction to say how you truly feel, this way you will never be left wondering what if? You could say ‘I really like you’ or ‘the more time I spend with you, the more I like you’. If you are feeling really ballsy, you could follow it up with ‘do you like me?’ At least then you will know where you stand. The great thing about doing it face to face is that you can see their reaction and you can get an immediate response. If you can’t meet him in person, you could also tell him over the phone.
- Text him
If you don’t feel brave enough to have the chat face to face, then writing how you feel is the next best thing. The great thing about texts is that you know they have been delivered and if you use a platform like WhatsApp you can also see when they have been read. This way you don’t have to keep wondering if he has seen it yet. Texting is a good way to get the message across without it being as awkward as a face to face revelation.
- Leave him a note
Instead of texting you could write him a note, it is old-school and romantic. I would keep it short and sweet, unless of course you have known each other for a long time then you might want to elaborate. If you are feeling creative, you could even write a poem.
- Kiss him
Get together, maybe have a drink, have a laugh, and go in for a kiss! This will only work if you know them and you are spending time together already. It goes without saying that if they refuse your advances then back off straight away!
how to tell a guy you like him
To wrap this article up i will share my personal opinion; take from it what you wish. If I liked a guy, I would just tell him outright. I would not trust that he had picked up on any signs that I was showing interest. I would also want to do it in person so I could see how he reacts. Even if it did not go the way I would have wanted, then at least I tried and I would rather know sooner rather than later.
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