Let’s face it, it can be so confusing in this modern-day world to work out if your new girl/guy is serious about your relationship or is it just a fling? Friends with benefits? Who else is sliding into their DMs? So, working out the status of your relationship can be confusing. It is common at the beginning of hanging out with someone to question what category you fall into and if this will lead anywhere.
You know you’re dating if they message or call you regularly and you spend a significant amount of time together. They make a priority of seeing you on the weekend, you have fun together and you make plans for the future. You have met their friends and family and you connect with each other on an emotional level.
Social media has added a mist of fog to the progression of our relationships. It has also added pressure on them – long gone have the days of poking on Facebook! Now its more about can I add them on my snap story or post a picture of us together on Insta? Is it too soon?! Who the hell knows!!
You could meet a gorgeous funny cute person and spend months hanging out without really knowing how they feel about you. Are you boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you dating? Or is it more of a casual hook up? Every situation is different, but the following pointers will give you a good idea of what your status is:
- Date night is on the weekend. This is down time for your girl/guy, when they could be seeing their friends or going on other dates. So, if they are giving you a Friday, Saturday or Sunday things are looking good! Days off also applies to those who do not work a regular 9-5; if they are also giving you a weekend that’s also more precious as they won’t have all of them off work.
- You spend a significant amount of time together. If you are seeing each other once or twice a week this is a good indicator that time together is being valued – this does not however include 2am booty calls! Spending multiple nights and days together and planning fun activities and outings are a good sign that you’re actually dating; you want to get to know each other better and have fun. On the other hand if the time you’re spending together is infrequent and you only hang out from time to time, particularly when they don’t have anything else to do it is much more likely it’s a casual hook up – a friends with benefits type situation.
- You talk and text often. If you are both messaging every day to check in and see how each other’s day is going then you’re probably heading in the relationship direction. This shows that you are thinking about each other and you care about how the other is.
- You do fun activities together. If your girl/guy is wanting to meet up and have fun outside the bedroom you clearly have shared interests and enjoy each other’s company. It would seem they want more than just a hook up if they want to try new things and make memories together. Even more so if they want to try the things you want to do rather than pursue their own interests.
- You have met their friends or family. This is a big one, no one takes someone they are casually hooking up with to meet their friends or family unless they are serious about the relationship. They are most probably looking for their stamp of approval. They will also want to see how you ‘fit in’ and how well you get along with other people in their life who are also important to them. For example, are they fun, engaging, and outgoing? Ideally, they would be able to mingle with the group and able to hold your own without feeling like they must hold your hand.
- You make plans for the future. Pay attention to your conversations! If you hear phrases like “let’s go here together” or “we must do that” things are looking positive! There is no way someone would plan future activities if they did not see things progressing. Planning trips or getting invitations to events weeks or months ahead of time is a way of knowing you’re dating. However, if you find they are reluctant to talk about the future and won’t plan anything past a couple of days then it’s likely this is a casual hook-up and you’re not actually dating.
- You connect emotionally. If you are opening up to each other by revealing more about yourself as a person and sharing personal stories you will start to connect on a deeper level. In order to connect emotionally you will need to open up to each other. However, if the chat stays superficial and you feel like they are emotionally unavailable then its unlikely that you’re dating. Rather than emotionally investing in the relationship they are choosing to put barriers up which keeps you at a distance.
- You feel awkward about being on other dating apps. This is a sign that you are in a good place and ready to commit. If you are not interested in meeting anyone else, it’s probably time to delete your profile.
- Have ‘the talk’. If you feel in limbo about your relationship status and you do not want to hang it out any longer you can always bite the bullet and have ‘the talk’. Yes, it’s going to be a little uneasy but at some point, you need to lay your cards on the table otherwise you won’t know wtf is going on. Yes you might feel apprehensive in case it doesn’t go the way you would hope, but if that’s the case then at least you’ll know and then its your decision if you’re happy to carry on the way things are or if you want to end it knowing you’re worth more than a casual hook up! Equally if you want to keep things casual it might be a good idea to have a conversation about it so you can manage their expectations and they don’t end up wanting more than what you are prepared to give.
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