When you are dating someone, you should be good company, honest and dress for the occasion. You should not be needy, negative, or overly emotional. Do not talk about your ex or spend all night on your phone, it is rude and disrespectful. Girls: do not change your plans with your friends to accommodate a guy, don’t chase them, and make sure you offer to pay for some of the date. More importantly, if you want the relationship to have some longevity then do not have sex straight away! Most crucially, trust your gut instinct and make sure you are on the same page, that is that you have similar values and beliefs, and you want the same things moving forwards.
- Do not chase a guy
This one always blows my mind! Why would any girl want to chase a man?! It looks so desperate, which is definitely not attractive! If a girl sent a guy a gift and asks him out it doesn’t look romantic, he will think you are a stalker! If the guy does the same thing, they are romantic.
- Do not be needy
If you guy has plans with his mates, don’t ask him to change them to accommodate you or be waiting on his doorstep at midnight when he returns home. It is needy and desperate! It will be the kiss of death to his attraction for you. Also, do not send multiple texts before getting a response. If you have sent a message and he hasn’t replied for an hour or three perhaps he is busy at work, with friends, or just relaxing. When he does look at his phone and see’s multiple messages from you it will put him off.
- Do not change your plans to accommodate your date
So, you have plans with a girl friend to meet for a coffee and a walk and then your hot date calls asking you to go see a matinee with him, what do you do? Always stick to prearranged plans, even if you do want to see him! Your friends will be around much longer than the guy! Besides, if he knows you will drop your mates for him, he will feel he has control over you. Attraction killer!!
- Do not be overly emotional
You will be perceived as weak and a push over if you are overly emotional. Even worse, he will feel like you need him, and this will push him away. You need to stand on your own two feet and learn how to handle irrational thoughts. Don’t go nuts if he wants to do something different to you or get too upset about a small argument. It will just convey the message that he has way too big on impact on how you feel.
- Do not have sex straight away!
This is the mistake I see girls make time and time again. If you only want to have some fun, then hey why not?! But if you actually want to find a long-lasting relationship this is definitely not the way to do it. You have sex right away and the guy assumes several things about you. Firstly, you do it a lot. Secondly, you are letting all your defences down and giving the guy your most prized possession for what? What bond do you have? How hard has he had to work to get this far? Not very!!! He will not value what you are giving him because it is been handed to him on a plate! And thirdly, he will question the value you place on yourself. And if you don’t value yourself than neither will he!
- Do offer to pay for some things.
Whether or not a woman pays for things on the first date or first few dates is a huge topic of debate from both angles. I have heard lots of guys say they would never dream of asking a girl to pay, but also plenty whose view is we live in a modern world, so why shouldn’t they pay for their share?! I think the bottom line overwhelmingly resides like this; if they guy really values you, he wouldn’t dream of asking you to pay on a first date, but he would like you to offer. If I were on a first date with a guy and he wanted me to pay for all of it then alarm bells would start ringing and I would run for the hills! If he is prepared to treat you like this now, how will he treat you in the future?! I wouldn’t be particularly impressed by even paying for my half since he had asked me out. In both instances there would not be a second date! Afterall, if this guy really thought you were amazing and he was enamoured by you, then he would not dream of asking.
- Do not nag
Why would you want to nag someone? It is not enjoyable for you or for them. You should observe how they behave and if they aren’t doing the things you want them to do out of their own free will, then perhaps they aren’t the right one for you. Yes, you can steer them in the right direction but don’t nag! You will remind him of his mum, and he does not want to have sex with his mum!
- Do be good company and remember your manners
This is general etiquette. Do not be boastful talking about how great you are. Listen to what your date has to say and make eye contact (don’t stare them out though!). One of my worst dates ever was with a lovely guy who only talked about himself all night. It was boring and I could not wait for it to be over. So, don’t just focus on yourself. Also, remember your manners. I recall being on a date with a guy in a restaurant and when the waiter brought over the wine and put it an ice bucket at the side of our table, he didn’t even say thank you. I was so embarrassed by how rude he was, and I thanked the waiter immensely myself.
- Do dress for the occasion
The last thing you want to do is be dressed for a high-class wedding or a nightclub on a first date, especially if it is a casual day time date! Equally, you don’t want to turn up in gym gear to an evening dinner date. It’s not rocket science. Even more so, don’t show off all your ‘goodies’ either. If a guy must use his imagination that is far better than seeing it all on show. So, wear smart well fitted clothes, but you don’t need short skirts and full cleavage out to prove you’re a woman! Dress sexy, but its sexier to leave something to the imagination. Always legs out or boobs out but never both at the same time because it just looks trashy!
- Do not talk about you EX
If the guy asks about past relationships don’t go into any amount of detail. Mention it if you absolutely must but no one wants to spend a first date hearing about ex partners. Most probably they are negative stories otherwise the relationship wouldn’t have ended. Equally, don’t talk about how wonderful they were. Keep it breezy and move onto the next topic of conversation.
- Do be honest
Starting a relationship off on lies is only going to end one way, in the bin!
- Do make sure you are on the same page
You will only have a future with someone if you have the same values and belief systems. You need to see yourself heading in the same direction. Listen to what your date has to say because this is the time to decide if they are the right person to continue dating, or whether it’s time to jump ship!
- Do not be negative or complain
No one and I mean no one want’s to listen to someone who continually moans and is negative. We have a partner to enrich our lives and make it even better, not to make us feel miserable and drag us down.
- Do trust your gut instinct
If you get a bad vibe or things do not add up with your new man, then question it. If he doesn’t like being questioned and cannot put your mind at ease, then listen to your gut instinct and get rid! Equally, if your friends say they aren’t too keen on the guy you are dating and can give you good solid reasons why then listen to them.
- Do get off your phone!
There is nothing ruder and more disrespectful than being on a date with someone and they are always texting or accepting calls on their phone. Fair enough if they are waiting on an important call, I would be ok with that but otherwise it is an indication he is not valuing his time with you. It is a huge sign of disrespect. I would literally get up and leave because my time is way too important than to smile politely.
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